Today, I had some really bad cravings to binge and have just been pretty hungry all day. I’ve had days like this before and after a while they are going to be really difficult to deal with. That’s when I resort to the binging. Before I said I was going to make 1500 calories my goal for everyday since I am working out, but I have not been very faithful to that goal. I have been eating more of 1300/1400 calories and that’s just not good enough. I am going to eat 1500 calories and hopefully, given time, I will stop feeling so deprived and hungry all the freaking time and start feeling more in control of myself and my hunger. My New Year’s resolution is to become a vegetarian. I am a little skeptical of myself and I am not really sure how I am going to pull this off, but I am going to try. Just for one year and then I can go back to eating meat if it really kills me that much. I just need to think of it not as a restriction. I am just making my body more healthy and saving myself a lot of calories and fat too! Honey Pig will be slightly complicated, but it’s not a big deal. I don’t even really go there anymore anyways… I think that after a while I won’t even notice it and it won’t be a big deal anymore. Anyway, I am just going to eat 1500 calories a day until this Saturday for Christmas Eve and then Christmas. It’s only 2 days of eating bad and that’s not really a big deal. I’ve gone longer than that eating like crap and gotten away with it! Plus, it’s the holidays and I’m not going to ruin it by being an annoying ED girl. I only have 4 more days of eating in moderation before then. I can do this. Just breathe. I REALLY hope my sister coming home for the holidays doesn’t mess me up early….that would be pretty disappointing. But do not get me wrong!! I can’t wait for her to come home!! I just remember I always ate really bad around her and a lot more often too because she isn’t on a diet and eats like how I used to eat which is BAD! I just have to be strong about it and resist resist resist. CONTROL. DON’T BE A PIG. If anything, think about Coach Deegan. She is the definition of controlling yourself and eating right and avoiding all of those unhealthy foods.
Okay moral of the post: Only 4 more days until Christmas Eve and until I can binge my heart out for two days. I can make it. Just be strong!
