I am always so sad after I hang out with flo. I love being with her she is truly my best friend. I thought I was going to the light show with them but I guess I was wrong so now I’m all embarrassed. There is still a small piece of me that still thinks she’s going to call me and pick me up because I heard her say that they wanted to get something to eat before they left. A larger portion of me is saying no that isn’t going to happen and that I need to stop thinking it will right the fuck now because I am going to be so upset when it doesn’t. And I will just be waiting around forever for a call. I need to remember though that she wants to be with her bf and that is totally understandable. I am upset that they slept together even though I really like Dan. It still bothers me to think about her having sex. I’m going to be honest, I just want to have sex with someone without having to worry about getting pregnant or having it spread around. I just want to be an adult I think. Adults can have sex all the time and it’s alright. I really want to loses virginity at 18 or 19 with my boyfriend that I am crazy about. That’s my vision and it won’t be at my house. Whatever idk I just don’t know why I always feel so shitty and depressed when I’m done hanging out with her. I miss her a lot and I hardly ever get to see her. Please god let me go to VMI then I can see her whenever I want to and just be happy. I truly think I will be happiest there as weird as that sounds.
