I am 130 lbs. I remember when I told myself I would never get to this weight again. I binged today again which means everyday this week I have binged. I can’t stop. I want to do bad though. I’m going to practice tomorrow and doing what I can not to binge and then I’m working out in my own Friday. I’m getting the lifetime membership within the me t couple days so that means I can go back to my favorite place in the world. I can burn 500-600 calories a day again and I can lose all of this disgusting weight that I’ve put on. I can’t wait to go back to being below 125. J can’t believe I ever complained about that. I was an idiot and I forgot what it was like being in this position. I seriously can’t wait to work my fucking ass off. On Saturday I’m definitely going on my own and then I’m gonna try to burn 1000 calories with some situps. I can do the elliptical for an hour which will probably burn about 600 and then I can walk on the treadmill and gradually get up to running. I want to burn at least 600 though. I am going to get skinny again. I just need my gym back. Only one more week of track and I am done! Maybe I’ll workout twice on Monday…. I can go to the gym in the morning and then run again at practice at 4. If I’m crazy I’ll do that but then again I am a little crazy. I just might try it. Just do my hw on Sunday because I’ll obviously be really tired after working out twice a day. And they will both be workouts. I need to do this. I just have to get all of this weight off it’s driving me crazy!! It makes me soda at myself for letting myself put it all on in the first place. If I had just stopped at winter break t wouldn’t be at the point that it is right now. This blows but i can fix it. It may take time but it is so worth it. It really is. My UGW is to be 123 again but if I put on some muscle weight for my arms or abs since I will be working on those too then that’s okay. It really is all about how I look since that’s what people will see, not my weight. I just really wanna be like Eva. Really thin but muscular and beautiful.
