I always go on these tangents of 3 days bingig and 3 days straight. Like I honestly can’t describe how frustrating it is that I can’t eat normally. What the ruckus wrong with me? Like I’ve just been getting worse and now I can’t go one day of bingig without Doing a follow up the next and repeating it. It’s addictive I swear it is and it’s just not worth it. I need help but I have no one to turn to. I want to talk to the schools social worker but I never have time to go I have class to be in. This all just sucks so much ad I hate it. I want to stop so badly but it’s all I thin about it. I always look at food and think oh that would so good to binge on. That needs to stop. But I know it won’t. I think I may just need to try harder when it comes to controlling myself around food. I can’t out exercise a shitty diet so idk why I try to. I hate myself for doing this and allowing it to get to this point. I have lost sight completely of my goals and I want nothing more than to go back to how I was before winter break. God damnit I hate this ughughufhuabakevsofbakdhnekxhaldhdmsohznsid. I’m doing it right tomorrow and I don’t care how badly I want to Bohr. This feeling isn’t worth it at all I the fucking least. I fee like crap and so ugly and fat and I am so done feeling this way. I really am.
