Did I binge today? Yes I did on candy and pie BUT I also burned 1000 calories at the gym today! I don’t blame myself for binging because I really didn’t eat enough today. Expecting myself to be able to have a net total of 500 was unfair to me and my body. Burning 1,000 calories at ice was not as hard as I thought it would’ve been. It wasnt easy but I could do it again. Only on the weekends though because it just takes so damn long. I kind of want to do it again tomorrow because I binged tonight and I want to retry my eating. I at least want to burn 800 tomorrow so I could do 35 on the treadmill and 40 on the elliptical. When I ran today I got a treadmill that was right in front of a mirror on accident. It actually wasn’t as painful to watch myself run a I thought. My legs didn’t look at gross as I assumed. I was a sweaty mess because I didn’t have a towel but still it wasn’t so bad. I might go there every time because at times I liked what I saw. However that was only with running because for some reason I hated how my legs looked when I walked. I don’t know why. Anyway, tomorrow I will burn 800 to take away most of this beige tonight which has made me uncomfortably full…I guess that’s almost a good thing. I don’t think I’ll eat breakfast before I go either just because I ate so damn much just now. See when I burn so much at the gym I don’t feel AS bad about my binge. I know its not going to make me gain weight I think total I’m at 1400 for today which I fine. Im not gaining any weight so that’s good news.
I’m actually upset that I’m never invited to hang out with tiff amber and Jorge. I’m just so bored and I like hanging out with them and I wish I was invited. I don’t understand why tiffanie doesn’t. And it makes me jealous that tiffanie and amber are becoming better friends than me and amber even though it’s my fault since I fucked up me and ambers friendship. I hope amber and I can become good friends again. I also KIND OF hope that eventually me and jorge make out. I want to be drunk though and same with him. At the same time I know tiffanie would be pissed and I have no intention of ever dating Jorge and I know us doing that would be so unfair to him. I don’t think it’s gonna happen its just something on my mind.
Anyway- plan for tomorrow:
Go to the gym and burn 800 calories
Come home and eat
Apple 80
Cereal 230
Cheese 50
Banana 100
Fiber one 140
And then dinner 800
Total of 1400 exactly but minus 800 would bring us to a net of 600. If I can resist eating after that for the rest of the evening then that’s fantastic but if not then I’ll eat an extra banana and clementine. Okay! Good day, keeping positive thoughts, and moving forward. Can’t wait to go through with this tomorrow.
